What is my focus toward others?

Almost done with Chapter 1...

Ephesians 1:15-23

15 Therefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, 16 do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 18 the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power 20 which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. 22 And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, 23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.
(www.biblegateway.com) New King James Version

This passage really encourages my thinking in the way I talk to and refer to others. Usually when I pray for someone, there's a bit of me and my selfish desires (or superficial words) in the prayer.
"Lord, help her to change her heart so we can communicate better...."
"Help him to slow down so he can hear me..."
"Help them to be open to what you want me to say..."

I find it all too easy to work my own agenda into the prayer and suddenly, I'm giving the Lord a to-do list for my friends. What is my focus when I pray for others? Do I tell them I'm praying for them and how do I say that without sounding pious?

Paul does a fantastic job of just that... He tells the Ephesians that he has not stopped praying for them. Then he tells them why. And if we look closely, we see that he prays for them to see Christ. That's it. He doesn't include himself in these prayers at all!

v.17 > ...that God may give them the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him
v. 18 > ...that the eyes of their understanding be enlightened; that they may know the hope of His calling, the riches of His glory
v. 19 > ...that they may know the exceeding greatness of His power

Then Paul proceeds to put the focus directly on God and what He has done through Christ His focus is on God even in his specific prayers for his friends. Paul's focus is constantly and consistently on Christ. His prayers for his friends are Christ-minded. There is no selfish agenda. There is no petition for earthly desires. There are no generic words. His words are genuine and his request is something I wish I could do consistently for my own friends.

If I could pray that way...putting God first in my prayers for others...I think my daily focus on everything would start to become the same. And maybe it would be easier to encourage someone by letting them know I was praying in such a way. When Paul tells them of his prayers, he tops it off by reminding them of God's power, knowledge, wisdom, and "the fullness of Him who fills all in all." When that is the last thing on our minds, our selfish desires and earthly petitions would go by the wayside. Our focus would be on Him and we would just know He is in control.