marriage is work

Now THIS I found VERY interesting...yes, premarital counseling is valuable and, I think, necessary. But now that 9 years have passed and we're completely different people with different needs and desires, where do you meet? What is a middle ground? There aren't enough people in the world willing to do the real work it takes.

However, for those of you new to this marriage thing, here you go:

Keys To Successful Love And Marriage by Jimmy Cox
Make your marriage a success instead of a divorce statistic. Judged by the rising tide of divorce statistics, it has become increasingly difficult for a young couple to make a success of their marriage. But if you understand the causes for failure and the essentials for success, you need not end up among the failure statistics. Your marriage can be a success.
One reason for failure is the tendency of people to take marriage for granted, like steam heat and hamburger stands. Marriage to them is just something you do, like wearing shoes, getting your hair cut, or brushing your teeth. As such, it does not seem to call for any special training or understanding. Whatever knowledge and skills you may need you can pick up, just as you learned to walk, or get on and off the bus. 'Doin' what comes natcherly' seems to be enough.
Marriage is lots of fun. But it is a party in which you are host as well as guest. Therefore it is work. It can mean what seems to be an endless round of dishes and diapers. It means bills, worries, and sometimes burdensome debts. If the relationship between husband and wife is to continue rich and worthwhile, and if their children are to have attractive personalities, marriage means hard work and almost saintly forbearance.
People who come to marriage as to a party, expecting loads of pleasure at little cost, are likely to feel cheated. If your marriage is to become a success, rather than a divorce statistic, you must put real effort into it. Yet effort alone will not be enough. You must know what to do, and what not to do, and have the skills which are necessary for success.
Intelligent understanding as an essential to success in marriage.
Many people still fail to appreciate the importance of sound knowledge for marital success. We are coming to see that marriage is a serious vocation which requires trained competence for success. If you must have specialized training in order to raise corn and hogs successfully, how much more should you know in order to be successful spouses and parents!
Judge John A. Sbarbaro in his book, Marriage is on Trial (Mac-millan, 1947), urges that all couples be required to complete a course in premarital training before they are granted a license to wed. He suggests the inclusion of a study of the economic problems of the family, fundamentals of child psychology, sexual relationships, 'in-laws,' the effects of broken homes upon children, and the responsibilities and opportunities of the church and similar agencies in the strengthening of family life. A divorce court judge sees every day that good intentions are not enough! There must be technical, scientific knowledge.
Do not take happiness in marriage for granted, be prepared to work hard, and have some solid knowledge about important subjects like parenting and in-laws. These are the very basic pre-requisites for success in marriage. Begin with these principles and you will not fail in this important enterprise!
About the Author
Stop! Before You Marry, You Must Follow These Wedding Checklists.
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